Relaxed Parent, Relaxed Baby: Is It Really a Thing?

Her Story & Co.
Sep 10
3 min read

You’ve probably heard it before: “Babies pick up on your energy—if you’re calm, they’re calm.”

It sounds lovely, doesn’t it? But when you’re pregnant, juggling life, or in the thick of newborn nights, being “calm” can feel about as realistic as owning a unicorn. So let’s look at this honestly, with a bit of humour, and—most importantly—some evidence.

The Science Bit (But Made Simple)

Babies don’t come into the world as blank slates. From pregnancy onwards, they’re tuned into us.

During pregnancy: Stress hormones like cortisol can cross the placenta. Occasional stress is completely normal (life happens), but ongoing high stress can affect baby’s developing stress response system. The good news? Relaxation and calm activities reduce cortisol and boost oxytocin—the “feel-good” hormone that helps both you and baby feel safe.

After birth: Babies are like little emotional sponges. They can’t regulate themselves yet, so they co-regulate with us. That’s a fancy way of saying: they borrow our calm. Your tone of voice, breathing, and body language all help guide their tiny nervous systems.

So yes, the phrase “relaxed parent, relaxed baby” has truth to it. But it’s not about being calm all the time. It’s about giving yourself—and your baby—pockets of calm in the middle of the chaos.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Let’s be clear: parenting is not a zen retreat. It’s messy, noisy, and full of moments that make you question everything. A few examples from my own home:

Trying to do a calming breathing exercise while one child is shouting “Muuuuum!” every two seconds.

Sitting down for a mindful cup of tea… only to find a toy dinosaur floating in it.

Thinking I’ve nailed the calm, then getting whacked in the face by a rogue toddler arm.

The point is: calm doesn’t mean perfect. It means creating moments—however small—where you breathe, reset, and give your baby a model of what regulation looks like.

Why It Matters (For Both of You)

For baby: Repeated exposure to calm cues helps wire their stress response system. This supports better sleep, feeding, and emotional regulation long-term.

For you: Relaxation reduces tension, boosts oxytocin, and gives you a chance to feel grounded again. And when you feel more balanced, parenting feels a little lighter.

Small Ways to Find Calm

You don’t need an hour of yoga or a silent house (wouldn’t that be nice). Evidence shows that even short, simple practices help. A few you can try:

Breathing together: Hold your baby and take slow, deep breaths. They’ll often sync to your rhythm.

Grounding in pregnancy: Place your hands on your bump, close your eyes, and focus on your breath for just two minutes.

Micro-moments: A walk outside, a song, or even a stretch in the kitchen while the kettle boils. These tiny resets count.

How We Can Help

At Our Story & Co., we know parents don’t just need more advice—they need practical tools, safe spaces, and reassurance that they’re not alone. That’s why we’ve created courses designed to support both you and your baby:

Bump & Breathe – Our pregnancy relaxation classes. Learn simple breathing, visualisation, and grounding tools to use now—and take with you into labour and early parenthood.

Seedlings Postnatal Course – A gentle, supportive course for you and your baby. Think connection, confidence, and community, alongside practical tips and real talk about life with a newborn.

Because yes, relaxed parent = relaxed baby has truth in it. But more importantly, supported parent = supported baby. And that’s what we’re here for. 💛

Final Thought:

You don’t need to be calm 24/7. You don’t need to “get it right” all the time. Your baby doesn’t need perfection—they just need you, doing your best, with moments of calm sprinkled in.

And that? That’s more than enough.